Self-Esteem and the Quality of Romantic Relationships

Abstract. The relation between self-esteem and romantic relationships has been the focus of many research studies. In this article, we review theoretical perspectives and available evidence on (a) the effect of people’s self-esteem on the quality of their romantic relationships, (b) the effect of self-esteem similarity between partners on relationship quality, and (c) the psychological mechanisms that might account for the link between self-esteem and relationship quality. Overall, the evidence suggests that high self-esteem is beneficial in romantic relationships. Furthermore, research using data from both partners of couples suggests that high self-esteem has a positive effect also on the partner’s happiness with the relationship. However, research indicates that the degree of self-esteem similarity between partners does not influence the couple’s relationship satisfaction. Although evidence suggests that perceived regard and secure attachment between the partners explains why self-esteem is beneficial in romantic relationships, future research is needed to examine in more detail the mechanisms through which self-esteem contributes to a happy relationship.