Why We Chose to Stay Together: Qualitative Interviews with Separated Couples Who Chose to Reconcile

The objective was to explore factors in the decision to reconcile after filing for divorce. Participants were asked to discuss how the resources available to them and the meanings they associated with experiencing marital difficulty influenced their decisions to stay married. A qualitative model was used. Seven couples (N = 14) who filed a petition for divorce in a Southern state between 2000 and 2010, but reconciled their marriages before the divorce proceedings were finalized, participated in a semistructured, open-ended interview. Using grounded theory techniques, the 5 major themes that emerged the decision-making process for the couples included (a) pulling together during difficult times, (b) growth from separation and reconciliation, (c) multiple attempts and rough starts, (d) it’s worth the hard work, and (e) big moves and grand gestures.