The Importance of Acceptance in the Counseling Setting

Shame has its origins in interpersonal relationships and is intergenerational.Significant use of "shame language" is found in discussions with clients.Shame usually originates in the family of origin so the individual can only be comprehended in terms of the family, its outlook on life and goals, its history and the family sense of obligation and shame.The presence of shame in clients has implications for the type of therapy that will be helpful.From among the various schools of family therapy, Murray Bowen's theory may be the most helpful in the Japanese context.The main thrust of clients' conversations can be summarized with, "Where can I go to be accepted and understood?"If the therapist can create an accepting and supportive environment, then hope can be given to the client.The establishing of an interpersonal bridge lets the client know that human relationships are repairable.Shame cannot be healed in isolation.It must take place in a social or relational setting.Counseling can provide the initial experience of an accepting environment.I believe that Christianity can have an important influence on many clients, whether they are Christian or not.They can find encouragement, comfort and acceptance by members of the church and a faith in God.Hope is precisely what the client is looking for.Once the client knows he/she is unconditionally accepted by God then he/she can now be self-accepting and selfaffirming.