Anticipated Scars

This thesis explores gender, identity, family, the body, and healing from the physical trauma of surgery and the emotional trauma of preparation and recovery. This work of memoir is set in the ten days following gender-affirming top surgery, moving fluidly through time and memory. This thesis takes an unabashed look at pain, illness, and gore as well as the flawed nature of supposed caretakers and the stubborn nature of the supposed invalid. Anger, relief, luck, and strength weave the story together, alongside a healthy amount of grumpiness and sarcasm. Anticipated Scars is a coming-of-age and coming-of-gender story embedded within a coming-of-identity and a coming-of-joy.