When is it OK to Cry Online? Gendered Emotional Expression and Digital Vulnerability Among Icelandic Adolescents

This article investigates how gendered norms shape Icelandic adolescents’ (aged 12–15) emotional expression on social media. Drawing on Butler's theory of performativity and Ahmed's concept of affective economies, we analyse how digital platforms teach young people which emotions are permissible, desirable, or risky to display. Data were collected through interviews with 24 adolescents and netnographic observation of 6 participants’ social media practices and analysed using a discursive–affective approach. We show that girls engage heavily in curated visibility and forms of performative vulnerability, while boys often withdraw from emotional expression, navigating discomfort through distance or humour. These practices reproduce familiar gendered hierarchies, even in a country celebrated for gender equality, while also creating moments where discomfort begets reflection and resistance. We argue that attending to these affective dynamics is essential for understanding how adolescents develop emotional literacies within algorithmically shaped environments. The findings highlight the need for feminist, intergenerational approaches to digital literacy that can support young people in interpreting and challenging gendered emotional norms.