Two sides to the breakup of dating relationships

Abstract Very few studies on the aftermath of relationship breakups have included data from both ex‐partners. The major purpose of this study was to examine whether there is any validity to the principle that there are two sides to every breakup. Questionnaire data were collected from both partners of 47 heterosexual, dating couples after they experienced the breakup of their relationship. Their emotional reactions, perceptions of who had control over the breakup, and perceptions of reasons for the breakup were analyzed. Results indicated that there was no association between ex‐partners in the level of distress experienced after the breakup. Ex‐partners agreed about who had control and who was responsible for the breakup and about some of the specific reasons for the breakup. Fewer gender differences were found in this study than have been found in previous research on dating relationship breakups (e.g., Hill, Rubin, & Peplau, 1976). For example, men and women were similar in the overall distress they experienced after the breakup and in the reasons they gave for the breakup. Women were more likely than men to be seen as the initiator of the breakup, but only by women themselves. Additional analyses indicated that perceptions of control and the reasons for the breakup were related to emotional reactions after the breakup.