Homonormativity, queer “homo-norms”, and the sex lives of young gay men

This article is a theoretical essay based on clinical practice. The term “homonormativity” refers to society’s cultural “rules” of “normal” imposed on LGBTQ+ people as the “correct way” to be so that they can be acknowledged by the majority group. In turns, these rules can be internalised by LGBTQ+ people to feel acceptable. This article will focus on the influence of homonormativity on young gay men’s lives, and how it affects their sexual and relational development and their self-concept. There is a growing body of literature on the negative impact of heteronormativity on LGBTQ+ people but the influence of homonormativity is less discussed, particularly in a psychosexual context. In my clinical experience working with gay men in London (UK), young gay men are vulnerable to homonormativity, which, I argue, has its roots in shame induced by the pervasive heterosexism and homophobia in UK society (and other countries in the Global North). However, discussing homonormativity does not mean that LGBTQ+ people are deprived of “norms” within their queer culture. Indeed, when LGBTQ+ populations create their own “homo-norms” – not based on heteronormativity but based on their authentic selves - it can enhance their sense of belonging and wellbeing.