Desire for change in one's partner as a predictor of the demand/withdraw pattern of marital communication

Even though the demand/withdraw pattern of marital communication has been implicated as a contributor to marital dissatisfaction and divorce, relatively little research has examined why couples engage in demand/withdraw. Why would individuals engage in this seemingly negative communication pattern? To investigate this issue, a study of married couples was conducted in which the association between spouses’ desire for change in their partner and couples’ demand/withdraw communication was examined. The results indicated that individuals’ desire for change in their partner was positively related to both husband demand/wife withdraw communication and wife demand/husband withdraw communication. This suggested that spouses’ desire for change was associated with them enacting both demanding and withdrawing communication. The link between desire for change and demand/withdraw seemed particularly strong for topics that were salient to the participants. The results imply that no current model of demand/withdraw sufficiently explains why this communication pattern occurs. Suggestions for a more complete explanation of the demand/withdraw pattern are discussed.