Sex, Lies, and Headaches

Relations between men and women in American society reflect the problem of how to manage inequality in a society whose ideal is equality. The emphasis on reciprocal gender differences has masked the differences in power between men and women. With a postmodern approach I review the dominant social meanings and discourses of heterosexual relations. Through case examples I illustrate how the ideal of marriage between equals allows both men and women to disguise male domination and female subordination. Unless therapists are aware of the effects of unequal power on women, they will be unlikely to move beyond the status quo to challenge the sources of stress in male-female relationships.