Male pursuers and female distancers in couples therapy

The pursuer-distancer relationship is one of the most common, yet challenging dynamics presented to couples therapists. While the majority of those in the professional literature have long contended that the roles of the pursuer and the distancer are interchangeable or 'gender flexible', there has been a tendency to depict the female as the pursuer and the male as the distancer. This article focuses exclusively on the dynamics of the male pursuer-female distancer pattern, and explores the origin of its development. An integrative, intersystemic treatment approach is offered to help de-escalate this problematic style, and to enhance intimacy. Two detailed cases are used as illustration .