Clingy personas: an entangled educational linguist negotiating language and identity in EMI

Positioned at the crossroads of multilingualism in theory and English-Medium Instruction (EMI),or more broadly English-Medium Education (EME), in practice, this autoethnographic inquiry gives voice to feelings and beliefs that had begun slipping into silence as my professional identity solidified. It examines my positioning as a female Italian researcher within Educational Linguistics and considers how my trajectory might inform broader understandings of EMI teacher identity. Drawing on a multimodal personal archive, I trace the emergence of three interwoven personas: a phonophilic self, a multilingual advocate, and an ancestral echo. The dialogue among these personas reveals how native-speakerist ideologies remain embodied in my practice, not only through residual prestige-oriented beliefs but also through a sustained, affective fascination with the sounds of English. This tension complicates the multilingual stance promoted in Educational Linguistics, exposing a gap between the ideology I profess and the monoglossic (and monophonic) practices I often enact. For EMI, the analysis suggests that embracing a pedagogy of discomfort can create space for more honest, discipline-sensitive reflections on language, identity, and legitimacy. Taken together, these insights illuminate a single individual’s trajectory, offered not as a model but as an invitation for others to reflect on the multilingual selves shaping their own academic lives.