The Pain of Ghosting? People Underestimate How Bad Their Conversation Partners Feel About Not Responding

Although online communication platforms provide convenience, they also bring a risk of ghosting , when one person unexpectedly stops responding to another without explanation. Extending prior research that examines the pain of being ghosted, we instead examine whether the act of ghosting itself is emotionally painful – and whether people recognize the extent of ghosters’ bad feelings. Across three studies – recalled real ghosting experiences ( N = 195), imagined ghosting scenarios ( N = 601), and induced ghosting in a live interaction ( N = 350) – we find that people who are ghosted underestimate how bad their conversation partners feel about ghosting them. This underestimation is larger when the ghosting is unintentional and mitigated when communicators do not perceive their actions as ghosting or send a short response (e.g., “sorry, can’t talk”) instead of ghosting. Overall, this research provides a window into the overlooked pain of ghosting others.