Do good chat groups make good neighbors? Continuity and change of norms in neighbor relations under digital co-presence

Based on interviews with urban residents in Germany and Israel, this study examines how residential instant messaging groups (e.g., WhatsApp, Telegram) reshape the norms of “good neighboring”: reciprocity, distance, and speaking out. Drawing on Blokland’s public familiarity framework and Rosenblum’s theorizing of neighborly norms, we ask how digital co-presence transforms the relational conditions of neighboring and how these norms are negotiated within residential chat groups. We show that messenger groups lower the threshold for mutual support but introduce tensions through persistent mutual awareness, which are thenresolved through norm negotiation. Extending the public familiarity framework, we identify a complementary axis of performativity–discretion that manifests through norm negotiation. Residents calibrate between engagement and restraint, enacting “good enough” neighboring within the double-bounded constraints of a building and a chat group. We contribute to research on digitally mediated neighborhood communication by showing how urban dwellers achieve pragmatic coexistence through calibrated visibility.