Managing ambivalence: Relational work in financial support between parents and adult children

The transition to adulthood in contemporary capitalism is marked by a fundamental contradiction: while the meritocratic ethos equates success with financial autonomy, achieving key markers of adulthood, such as housing stability, often depends on parental support. This article examines how Polish families manage ambivalence around giving and receiving financial support within the context of a deficient welfare state and strong pressure towards homeownership. Drawing on qualitative research based on family interviews and focus groups, I argue that families engage in intensive relational work, employing blurring practices to reconcile the logic of the gift with the imperative of self-reliance. I identify three key strategies: (1) discretion and indirect communication, (2) embedding money in material objects and blurring ownership boundaries, and (3) creative relational accounting. These strategies enable families to sustain the flow of material support while protecting adult children’s pursuit of financial autonomy and meritocratic self-image.