“We’re better friends than ever:” examining the paradoxes of interpersonal ostracism messages

Ostracism is an aversive and hurtful experience that can have negative impacts on targets. Despite the overwhelming focus on these deleterious effects of being ostracized, new studies reveal the ways that interpersonal ostracism messages (IOMs) can paradoxically foster positive outcomes such as increasing target’s helping behaviors or pro-social responses. Through a Darkside Communication lens, this exploratory study examined the communication paradoxes of IOM reception to uncover the range of potential benefits and prosocial outcomes of being ostracized. Through a qualitative analysis of interview transcripts, the study found that ostracism can benefit targets relationally by prompting them to start new relationships, end hurtful relationships, or maintain equitable relationships. The study also found that ostracism can foster positive attitudinal changes such as empathy development, ideological and identity changes, and new interaction expectations that improve communication in future interactions. Overall, the findings provide further evidence for the positive and pro-social outcomes that IOMs can potentially produce, and for the need for more research on the communication of ostracism.