Growing up with a sibling with SEND: retrospective narratives and implications for pastoral care in schools

Siblings of children with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND) remain an under-recognised group within school pastoral systems, despite evidence that they may experience significant emotional, social and educational impacts. While schools are increasingly positioned as central to children’s wellbeing, pastoral provision has tended to focus primarily on pupils with identified needs, with siblings receiving less consistent consideration within these frameworks. Using semi-structured interviews, this study explores how eight young adults retrospectively make sense of growing up alongside a sibling with SEND, with particular attention to how these experiences intersect with schooling and pastoral care. Data were analysed using reflexive thematic analysis within an interpretative framework, with participants reflecting on childhood and school experiences, including family life, awareness of diagnosis and educational contexts. Findings indicate that participants experienced complex emotional responses and family adjustments alongside increased responsibility and attunement to their sibling’s needs. Within school settings, they reported limited recognition of their home circumstances, difficulties accessing meaningful emotional support, and, in some cases, stigma and bullying linked to their sibling’s disability. Although pastoral structures were present, these were rarely experienced as relationally responsive or accessible. The study highlights a gap between policy aspirations for holistic, family-centred support and the individualised nature of pastoral care in practice, arguing that siblings may experience hidden pastoral needs requiring more relational, context-sensitive school-based support.