terms of endearment: Karo Batak lovers as siblings

Through the metaphoric use of kin terms, Karo Batak lovers cast each other as siblings. The metaphoric usage calls attention to the kind of “love” that both lovers and siblings share, although actual brothers and sisters must virtually avoid each other. Cross‐cousins, too, are likened to siblings; despite a high value placed on cross‐cousin marriage, cross‐cousins are neither the objects of sexual attraction nor of courtship. Arranged marriages between cross‐cousins are the antithesis of romances, some of which culminate in theatrical elopements. Lovers' terms of address make sense against a background of conceptual oppositions between siblings and cross‐cousins, arranged marriages and elopements, incest and exogamy. The anomalous lover relationship and its conventions of address mediate the contradiction that cross‐cousins, who are like siblings, may become spouses.