Seeking Help for Marital Problems before Separation

SynopsisA question raised frequently when marriage breakdown is discussed is, ‘Why didn’t people go for marriage counselling or seek other help with their problems before they divorced?’As part of a larger Australian Institute of Family Studies study of Marital Dissolution, 295 divorced men and women were asked their reasons for seeking or not seeking help with marital problems prior to separation and also their perceptions of any help received. Approximately 42% of the sample had contacted at least one professional person, in 22% of cases this was designated a marriage counsellor.The major reasons given for not seeking help were a belief that it was too late, things couldn’t be changed or a spouse was unwilling to participate. Perceived benefits of help received included the opportunity to clarify feelings and the provision of support or empathy for oneself or spouse. Negative comments focused on the failure of help to repair the relationship.