S/he Loves Me, S/he Loves Me Not: Questioning Heterosexist Assumptions of Gender Differences for Romantic and Sexually Motivated Behaviors

Research generally shows that men are more oriented towards sexual behavior and women more oriented towards romance or emotional aspects of sex. In addition, there is an assumed theoretical link between the desire and pursuit of short-term relationships and sexual activity and the desire and pursuit of long-term, commitment oriented relationships and romantic motivation. Our research tested how these assumptions hold for gender differences among lesbians and gay men. We tested these differences using measures of romantic obsession and sexual compulsivity, representing extreme forms of motivation for romance and motivations for sexual behavior. Gay men reported significantly greater symptoms of sexual compulsivity compared to lesbians. However, contrary to our expectations, gay men reported significantly greater symptoms of romantic obsession than lesbians. Sexual compulsivity and romantic obsession were significantly correlated. The study also discusses gender differences in relationship type and number of sexual partners, two factors often cited in research on gender differences.